Chalet Girl Released 16 March 2011 Director Phil Traill Starring Felicity Jones, Ed Westwick, Tamsin Egerton, Bill Nighy, Brooke Shields, Bill Bailey Writer(s) Tom Williams Producer(s) Pippa Cross, Harriet Rees Origin United Kingdom Running Time 96 minutes Genre Romantic comedy Rating 12A

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Nicey-nice!

So, who is the most influential figure in British Cinema right now? Is it Danny Boyle with his high-speed technical virtuosity? Is it Ken Loach with his tough but heart-felt social realism? Or it is Mike Leigh with his beautifully observed domestic comedies? For the film critics it could be any of these, but as far as the moneymen are concerned, it’s Richard Curtis.

Yes, that’s right, Richard bloody Curtis!

Because for all the critics’ awards and praise that those other filmmakers receive, the great British public actually go to the films of Richard Curtis in greater numbers that all the rest put together. People can’t get enough of the cosy sentimental tripe he’s written, directed and produced like the Bridget Jones movies, Love Actually and Notting Hill. Curtis’s special brand of “nicey-nice” middle-class comedy seems to reflect what British audiences aspire to be, whereas the likes of Leigh and Shane Meadows make films that reflect what they are.

Now technically Curtis has nothing to do with Chalet Girl, but his cosy middle-class stench is all over it, reeking like Marks and Spencer’s Farmhouse Pâté with Chorizo.

It starts out with an introduction from T4 presenters (which doesn’t bode well) and they set-up the main plot. They tell the story of Kim (Felicity Jones) a former skateboarding prodigy who’s fallen off the public radar. We learn that this is due to her being traumatised by the death of her mother in a car crash. So Kim is reduced to working in a burger bar as her unemployed Dad (Bill Bailey) sits on the couch. Then an opportunity turns up for her to become a Chalet Girl at a posh ski resort in the Alps. Despite being far too working class for a job normally reserved for sloanes, Kim lucks her way into the job.

Although she feels guilty about leaving her dad on his own, Kim sets off on her adventure. She doesn’t get a warm welcome on her arrival from Georgie (Tamsin Egerton), a stuck-up blonde who looks down on her immediately. Georgie informs her that she’s taking care of the most exclusive chalet in the resort belonging to the mega-rich Bill Nighy and his horrid American wife Brooke Shields. Their son Jonny (Ed Westwick) is of course very handsome but he already has a beautiful American fiancé that his mother is very keen for him to marry. In the meantime Kim takes up snowboarding and finding she has a natural aptitude for it, decides to enter a competition to win some much needed prize money.

So will plucky Kim fight against the odds and conquer the fears of danger brought about by being traumatised by the car crash and win the competition?

And will she fight against the odds and win the heart of the rich, good-looking but really sweet Jonny? Well of course she bloody will! After all, this is a teenage girl “we can have it all” fantasy so everything’s going to work out just fine.

Kicking this film is pretty pointless really, like delivering a devastating critique of Barney to a drooling toddler. It’s not made for bitter old critics, rather for the teenage girl market and they should lap it up as it cynically ticks all the boxes.

In fairness, Felicity Jones is an appealing enough presence in the lead role and Bill Bailey does raise the odd smile. However Bill Nighy’s agent should really have a word with him. How many times have we seen this slightly cool, slightly doddery ould fella act at this stage? Bill needs to learn how to say the word “no.” Brooke Shields turns up for about three minutes and Ed Westwick is suitably wooden as the fantasy nice rich boy.

To the average sane of mind adult, this will be pretty risible stuff, but it could well be the average teen girl’s film of the year.

- Jim O’Connor